12.16.04

I peed for employment today. I feel so proud. Though it was touch and go squeezing out enough juice to provide the mandatory minimum.

Jeez. Not only do they want me to micturate, but I have to provide a pre-determined amount. I felt like a hen with an egg-laying quota.

Hell, they didn't even want a list of any over-the-counter medications that I may have taken. I asked why, and the answer was that if I were taking any prescription drugs listing them would invade doctor/patient confidentiality. Yes, I said, but what about over-the-counter medications? They said that would also betray doctor/patient confidentiality. Wubba?!

When I asked if I would receive a copy of the report, the medical technician looked stricken, as if she'd never been asked anything like this before. If I want a copy of the report, I have to ask the company for it.

Well damnit, it's my pee. I made it myself. I should get the results as a matter of course.

It's absurd and so utterly useless. It's more easy to deal with if I imagine myself in a Kafka story.

*snort*

After the embarrassment of that (and lordy, save me from corporate uhhmurrica) I went to pick up some dull things at the drugstore. Of course, it's one of those enormous stores that sell everything from condoms to televisions to socks and Christmas candy. Finding what I needed was like mounting an expedition up the Amazon to find a pair of knitting needles.

On to the bookstore, where I got a couple of erotica books. All in the interest of research, of course. I'm looking forward to wallowing about with them this afternoon/evening.

Then the grocery store. Mater asked me to pick up more mikon. They have a distressing tendency to disappear faster than a politician's promise. I got a whole box of the wee, orange, globules of bliss.

After that, it was almost 2:30 and the stupid switch was about to be flipped. Ah, you ask, what is the stupid switch? It's when Portland area drivers go into afternoon rush hour mode and, while their driving is dreadful most of the time, after 2:30 it becomes execrable.

I got my heinie back to the house as quickly as I could.

Here's a question, should I go to a strip club for my 40th birthday next week? It'd be funny, wouldn't it?

Go be fabulous.

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