08.26.04

Answer: Up, down, strange, charm, bottom, and top.

Misplaced quotes are bad enough, but could someone explain the plague of using literally as an intensifier? If I hear one more person say that they're going to "...literally [fill blank space]", whether it's possible or not, I'm going to start a keening wail that'll take the paint off a wall.

On some show yesterday, I heard a woman say that she was going to "literally put the fabric into the gel." Let's not address why this woman was abusing some innocent fabric by plunging it into a chemical bath, that's another rant. How the hell else would one put fabric in gel? Can one metaphorically put fabric in gel? Simile-ly? Ironically? What the hell?

Last night HellKitty skittered into the bedroom, leapt up to her crow's nest at the back window, and pointed like a bird dog. I heard snapping sounds, like something big gallumphing through the garden.

Grabbing my trusty flashlight (or torch), I peered into the darkness. A young raccoon stood on its back legs, thrusting at one of StepPater's four surviving stalks of maize.

I must protect StepPater's maize!

Out I charged, avenging maize-protectress, armed with flashlight (or torch) and nylon-bristled broom. The raccoon retreated into the bushes for a little while. It didn't take long for him to venture out again.

Have you ever found yourself standing in a yard, soaking wet to your knees (it's been raining since Sunday), flashlight in one hand, broom in the other, barking wildly at a bewildered 'coon?

I need help. But I preserved StepPater's maize. Huzzah!

Am considering knitting straitjackets for all members of government who are idiots. We could hang them by hooks attached to the garments on their office walls. Enforced ridiculousness may be the only cure. Pointing and laughing may be our only real power.

I know that this'll mean that we'll have to start from scratch, but is this such a bad thing?

Question: What emotional moods does a Xat have over the course of a day, and how does that relate to quarks?

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