08.25.04

Here's another reason to leave P-land.

This rain and grey is killing me. I've got the black beast of depression on my back again. It's affecting my sleep (too much), my eating (too little), and my writing (incoherent and crappy). No health insurance, so I can't afford to talk to someone professional about it. No one really with whom I can talk about it at all. So I crouch inside my skull, snarling and snapping at nothing, while the world narrows down to just what's about me.

The worst thing is that I can see this happening. I feel powerless to stop it. I can see how terribly self-involved and prideful it is. Then I think that I'll never get beyond this. I'll drive everyone away with my snits and fits. That I'll never connect with someone in a way that brings our lives together.

*sigh*

Another grey day in Stumptown.

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