03.12.05

I worked 10 hours, 59 minutes yesterday. Phoowarrr! It was strange to work at another location, but educational. One of the employees, well-versed in the world of printing, taught me a couple of very useful things. That was good.

The Job that my Ass Got
Every workday, between 10:00 and 11:00, I take a break. Hit the loo, grab some coffee, and other fascinating things.

Yesterday morning, as I came back from the jakes, I noticed a bandy-legged man (he wore shorts) standing in front of the store. I passed him, walked into the store, and the Mangler said, "Oh man, that guy's totally staring at your ass. I mean, he's totally intent on it." We laughed, but shut up when the man walked into the shop. Being in Susie Retail mode (that's my pleasant, helpful and oh-so-perky work persona), I walked over and asked if we could help him. He hemmed and hawed. Then he asked about creating a new invoice for his company. Then he asked me out.

For the first time in my life, I simply said, "No." Oh, I smiled as I said it and tried to be as gentle as possible. Y'see, in the past I've invented phantom involvments, or other obligations to salvage the pride of the few men who've approached me. It's occurred to me that I don't owe anyone an explanation of my actions, especially a stranger. And there's nothing confusing about "No." No room for misinterpretation, confusion, or false hope.

Still, the guy ended up placing a graphic design order for new invoices. The Mangler joked that I had a stalker, and I said, "Yeah, but this is the job my ass got." That set her and my co-worker off on fresh waves of laughter.

Now that I've got my DVD player working, I am a movie slut. I watched Boondock Saints and The Punisher recently.

If you haven't seen Boondock Saints you're missing something good. If you appreciate an action film with guns, gallons of blood, plentiful cursing, and over-the-top, balletic explorations of slo-mo violence, Boondock Saints satisfies. It's about two men, brothers, who accidentally discover their true calling; to kill all the bad men in Boston. Mafia baddies, pimps, Russian mobsters, evil bagmen, assasins...you name it, they're gunning for it.

The script, for such a simple concept, is good. The dialogue is naturalistic. But what really makes the film is Willem Dafoe's fabulous, scenery-chewing performance as the FBI investigator torn between admiration and disapproval at the legality of what the brothers do.

Xat sez, check it out.

Now, The Punisher. Oof. Similar concept, vigilantism against baddies, but...oh dear. I watched the 1989 Dolph Lundgren version. It has everything I want from a so-bad-it's-good movie experience.

* Very little plot getting in the way of the action
* Spectacular explosions
* Spunky girl detective
* Louis Gossett, Jr.
* Comic relief (not so much comical, and not such a relief) in the form of a failed, drunkard, actor who speaks in rhyme...most of the time
* Mafia
* Yakuza
* 1980s "fashion"
* Earring-fu
* Sunglasses at night
* Crimped hair
* Machine gun-toting, funhouse slide riding, henchmen
* Dolph Lundgren, shirtless, sweaty, and shackled to a steel table and tortured by ee-veel, PVC-dress-wearing, Asian, pseudo-dominatrix...

...what's not to like? cackle I admit it, that last bit was the only part that really caught my attention.

I ain't right.
But you knew that all ready, didn't you?

Now go. Be fabulous.

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