04.05.05

With daylight saving time, I wake just at dawn. My Circadian rhythm's off. It's not messed up like flew in from Japan to the East Coast on a 14-hour flight, and arriving before leaving Japan, but awry.

(A word of advice, if you're travelling long distance, do not read any Philip K. Dick stories. His twisted view of reality, really fucked space/time manipulation, and original story ideas are weird enough while sitting in one time zone. Its weird factor rises exponentially with every line of latitude crossed.)

Hang on...had to check "latitude" in the dictionary. I can't remember which one is which. Oh. Got it right.** Whoopee for me. *laugh*

Last Friday evening the Vinos played at Noir. I danced. Good set. Threw Destro off when I started dancing. We laughed about it later.

There nearly was a wardrobe malfunction. Yessirree, Bob. One of the girls made a desperate bid for freedom. Unlike Ms. Jackson and the ridiculous NFL Superbowl debacle, I did not just happen to have a metallic, star-shaped pastie over my nipple. However, there was my left breast, sneaking away under the underwire, like a scrambling marine in boot camp. Managed to notice and fix it before full-on boobage happened. I wish you could have been inside my head.

"...Hmmm. Dance, dance. Shake, hit the beat-beat. Yeah. Dance over here. I hope they aren't bored. Dance. Dance. Dan...hey. Awww, shit. Left boob release imminent. I repeat, left boob release imminent."
"Cap'n, we can't retain her!" piped from my left armpit.
"Major Right Hand. Major Right Hand. Go check it out," I sub-vocalized.
"Yes, sir."
"Ma'am, major, ma'am. It is a boob that's almost burst its' mooring, not a testicle."
"Yes, ma'am!" Bravely, Right Hand checked out the situation.
"Well?" I asked.
"There's a great deal of underbreast cleavage showing, ma'am."
"Shit." I turned towards the stage. "Major Right Hand, I have a grave duty for you."
"I am ready."
"You're gonna have to go in, assess and adjust the situation. All while being as nonchalant as possible. Do you understand?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"You must be prepared to sacrifice yourself, should it all go south."
"Yes, ma'am" the major entered the danger zone, assessed the situation, and adjusted. Huzzah! A successful mission!
"Dance. Dance. Woo hoo. I wonder what's going on in the other room? Dance. Dance. Dance. Oooo. He looks scared. *cackle* Dance...."

Go. Be fabulous.

**(Added 10:30 PM) Ohhhhhhhhh, shit. I got the latitude/longitude thing all mixed up. I went over to Bix and Binkie's and was proudly talking about how I got the latitude thing right and Bix said that I hadn't. But I'd looked it up. *sigh* Talk about triumph of the will. I wanted latitude to be correct, and that's what I saw. Thppppppppppppp! Augh! Oh.

Rats.

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