04.01.06

RRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.Oh my god! Oh, oh yeah. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
Oh my fucking *Urdu noun declensions*

Hear that? Xat just bought a new toy. After carefully cushioning all sharp corners and moving all dangerous objects out of reach, I tested my new vibe.

By the wrinkled balls of St. Jude.

Woke up this morning at a reasonable 10:30. Made myself an I'm slightly hungover breakfast. Drank some coffee. Looked at my bank account. Oh cool. I want/need a toy.

Wandered up Sandy to a shop called It's My Pleasure. It's in a 1920s bungalow, with a white picket fence. I can't say for sure, but I suspect that there are climbing roses over the front gate. It's tres adorable. Walked in the front door and into the Land Where Twats Rule. Which was lovely. The books! The toys! The silly postcards! The I (heart) my cunt magnets (yes, I bought one)...

The sales clerk was very helpful when I asked about adjustable nipple clamps. (Is that too much information? Oh well.) They were out, but she gave me the name of another shop where they were available.

Then I saw the shelf o' vibrators. I finally got to hold and see the action on, like, 15-20 different vibrators. And what did this delicate, dainty flower buy for herself? A Rabbit Habit--but only because the one with the slug (euww!) clitoral stimulator has an LED inside it that lights up and changes colours. It seemed to be a bit overkill--though I suspect using it during a power outage could be amusing. Both the Rabbit Habit and the slug one are made of a glitter-infused, purple elastomer; which I think is hilarious.

Why are two out of three of my vibrators purple?

The violet bunny is sitting right next to my monitor (no, that's not a euphemism) (did I spell that correctly?) (too lazy today to look it up). Glistening in the watery sunlight and exerting its siren song.

Bye, y'all.
Be fabulous.

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