08.11.06

Let's see, what's up?

Well...problems with Bub, but not insurmountable. Head gasket idea didn't work, but we're going to give it another shot this weekend.

Have about 10 women who want me to teach 'em to belly dance. Yikes! Don't have a clue about how to do it, but am eager to try. Any words of wisdom?

On a prideful note, the newest security guard in our building tried to guess my age. He guessed 28, maybe as high as 35 but only on account of my voice--all raspy rough and tough. All those years of screaming at shows, drinking tequila, and being loud, gorgeous, and fabulous. I guess.

Chris gave me a copy of the magazine containing my movie reviews. Here's hoping that it sells and I can parlay that into, uhm, something.

Found out that D's been getting a lot of pressure to ask me to be his Official Girlfriend. I feel odd about that. But it lead to a really good conversation about expectations, whom (if anyone) is compromising, and what we want for ourselves.

Our friends forget that I've done the whole marriage thing. That it's not the be-all and end all of my existence. They want to see me as a victim of D's machinations--not that I'm fully aware of what's going on and that I've decided that I'm good with it.

D and I decided that this is a better path for both of us. So what if it's a little unconventional? It's what works.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? I sure as hell don't--and I've discovered that sureties aren't the cornerstone of my life. It's scary. It's difficult. It demands honesty from both of us. Eep. It's sure as hell hard to be honest with myself. But I'm trying. Oh my goodness, I'm trying.

I'll keep on dancing, because the alternative is too depressing to face.

*grin*

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