03.08.07

Thank goodness for girlfriends. Caro is my friend Chris' girlfriend. Lala is Chris' sister. They fucking rock. And they know D as well.

Last Monday I got a text message from Caro. She wanted to go grab a beer. I already had plans, but asked for a raincheck for Wednesday. Last night, I met her at the Basement. Much to my surprise and glee, Lala was there as well. I felt overwhelmed with sad/happiness when I saw them sitting together. I'd entertained the notion, before I got there, of not saying anything. Acting as if everything was okay. I saw them, and knew that I couldn't. As soon as I got to the table, I blurted out, "The me and D thing? It's over." They both exclaimed, and Caro said, "Get a beer. Tell us all about it."

So I did. I ranted, I raved, I cried. Told them everything that'd gone down. Their conclusions? That this thing between me and D wasn't casual--three or four months, okay. Over a year? No. Lala said that while he may have said that it was casual, actions speak louder than words. She said that she'd seen him out during the last year, and that he wasn't "on the prowl"--and she's seen him on the prowl. They got good and angry on my behalf. They said that they couldn't believe that D threw away something as amazing as what he and I had. They concluded that he freaked out because it was good. Grrr.

I started getting worried that their anger on my behalf would sour their friendship with D, and I said so. Lala said that she wasn't so much angry as disappointed in him. That she hoped her friends would be better than the run-of-the-mill, and it disappointed her when they weren't. Caro agreed.

Then I dropped the "other girl" bombshell. Caro was upset that he hadn't told me, that I had to confront him with it. She said that it was telling that he hadn't said anything. She said, that if it was really casual, he'd have had little problem telling me. Then I told them who it was, and they figured out that they'd both met her. And they were obligingly aghast. *grin* (I'm petty. So shoot me.)

After a while, Caro said that she'd been thinking about me a lot recently. She'd called me for a beer because she felt that there was something in the air. Lala said that she and Caro had been talking about the me and D situation, and that she's been concerned about it.

Awwwww.

It's great to have a couple of awesome women to talk about it with. They understand the turmoil that I'm in. It's great to know that the feelings I have aren't in my head--that sense of connection and love that I felt wasn't me being insane. And I got some insight into D that will help me cope a bit--understanding can help, after all.

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