06.28.06

You'd think buying a bra would be a simple process, right?

From the ancient Greeks' strophion to the corsets of more recent history, some sort of breast supporting undergarment has always existed. The basic function hasn't changed; i.e. to support the adipose tissue of the breasts in order to increase comfort, and minimize pain.

So a garment that's been around for a while should be a snap to buy, right? I want three, simple, basic, everyday, bras. I don't want lace, pearls, weird strap arrangements, convertible anything. I want a white bra, a black bra, and an almost-but-not-quite-my-skin-colour bra. Don't want to push anything up, and I don't want to minimize.

Basic bras to wear under my t-shirts--that's it.

Why the fuck can't I find a bra that doesn't have huge, honkin' wads o' padding in the cups? I like the way my boobs are shaped (for the most part). I have no desire to look as though I've had my tits enhanced surgically. I don't want gel, water, or anything propping up what I've got.

(Now, belly dancing is another story--but I ain't buying a bra for a belly dance costume.)

I went into five different stores. Five. Could not find a thing. If they had the colours; they were padded into next week. Or the straps were some weird, Rube Goldberg-esque, flying buttress, Japanese bondage, melange. If they weren't padded, the cup size was freaky. Or worse, the fabric was itchy. Nothing more annoying than a whole day of scratchy bra fabric scraping nipples. Oh, it's fun at first, but after four hours...death.

Has there been some radical shift in female anatomy? I doubt it. What the fuck, eh?

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